Poems IV
Peter Rehard
Copyright Peter Rehard 2012
Smashwords edition
**************
Sand
Mother Star
A summer Nymph
A single light
A space of time
Girl in a Dewdrop
Phantasms
A Proclamation of true love
*********
Sand
Sun cooked handles held by the arms of time:
Plastic cracks, metal warps, who pays a thought; mind
The children with future dreams set afar,
Traveling the lands with gas in their cars
And wallets with papers of past kings.
I live in a place where you die if you dream.
I see the buildings, I see the people,
Nothing seems to matter but the person
And I know him, his name is simple John.
He's dumb, thinks he's smart and gets along.
Here I am sitting in piles of sand
Rubbing dirt into my sun beaten hands
And I hear a melody crying soft,
So I look around for the one that I love
But see only both the moon and the sun.
They kiss and say it is too bad for me.
Mother Star
My mother died and her ashes I cast
Into the wind and they were blown apart.
Her dust lifted and the Earth took her back,
Swallowed her specks; she returned to her start.
But where I stood, on the edge, looking down
A cliff that sloped in blocks down to the sea,
Something beyond, bellow, above I found;
I knew it there though it could not be seen.
I, the son of my mother am but one
Child set upon this orb in a mass
That were born from the great life giving Sun:
Held in her hands that burn as fiery gas.
I owe my mother and the sun my life;
Could not live if it was not by their touch,
Yet is man's existence so simple quite;
Man from man and Earth formed out of the Sun?
And as the particles of light my eyes
Stung, I thought of the first, the elder stars,
The first of the mothers to be alive:
Forged the elements; burned strong, fast, and hard.
There I knew my blood in a star once flowed
And its iron, but in an instant caused
My old mother's death: how did she explode--
I live in the corpses of long dead stars.
But how small and pointless does that make me:
One rare creature to be perfectly placed
Here on a world with the compounds life needs
To prosper; with a consciousness so graced.
When unfathomable forces propelled;
Collapsed the first generation of stars,
Did they have my life in mind to wish well,
The greater dying for something so small?
For I think of the Universe that breaks
In cataclysms, stars, black holes and worlds.
Does it struggle and attempt to create
Or huff and puff in complete random bursts;
Pointless, no, but great importance is placed
On me, and man to honor our mothers
That died, so we our few short years may take.
We must prosper in good and move forward.
If man is alone the mind placed in space
So then much greater is our existence.
It falls on us the secrets to explain,
Despite our celestial loneliness.
Ah, but I am not a god that knows all,
But a poet that finds hope in all things;
And as I saw my mother's ashes fall,
Too saw stars; the future infinitely,
Spread out like a sheet across existence
Ready to be filled with new men and stars:
True emblems of life's very persistence,
Never halted, chained, or completely flawed.
*******
A Summer Nymph
Introduction
I gave up love, set it beside
Hopes, dreams: unreachable as sky,
For I had a love seeming fair;
Erred, called delusion, love: despair,
And thought with my hand I could breach
The billowing welkin and truth reach,
But soon saw nothing in its heights
Though my eyes strained with all their might.
And the love once so pure and soft
Found hate and was forever lost.
Then to treat my sick misery
Sought secret woods for company,
But what happened next to retell
Easier are whole forests felled
Alone, if my words can not stand.
I from Cytheria demand:
To kiss the muses on the lips,
Perfume their words with amored bliss,
So that when they touch mine with dew,
Secondly with love are imbued,
And I may sing of love again,
And my stories events begin.
I.
In the deep woods I retired,
Hidden I planned to conspire:
Never again a human see,
Nor again touch humanity.
Such was the sorrow that I felt,
I feigned my sense and better health.
In dead thistle and thorn I laid,
And with them my own body flayed,
Cutting into long faded scars;
The blood to me: a just reward,
By it, a mud I made with dirt,
Stripped bare, and clothed my self in earth.
Over my skin I rubbed the paste;
Through the woods my dreams, I chased.
Frantic, I collapsed in the shade
And from the foliage a bed made.
Exhausted, I gave up and slept.
Somnus touched the tears I had wept.
II.
In the morning dew I awoke,
As from the chambers of night broke,
Off of my body slipped the dirt,
And by braid of flowers was girt,
From my hair a perfume up-rose
And in the wind its scent did blow.
I lied naked upon my back
And watched aurora on her track
Through the sky pushing away night,
Allowing the sun down from its height.
A light filled the secluded scene;
But remained cool, shaded by trees,
Reposed, by the flowers was calmed:
Their nectar to me was a balm.
In the forest’s nook I found peace
But sadness from my heart still seeped.
I sensed that part of me was dead,
And gently I laid down my head.
III.
From cover, I heard cracking stems
And so I lifted up my head.
Behind the trees a doe appeared:
An elegant fertile deer.
When I saw her, my body burned
Like an animal for one yearned.
She walked ten paces towards me
And all the blood through my veins streamed.
Right there, the doe, I would have bed,
But as I further turned my head,
She leaped, and into the woods raced,
Then on my feet I gave her chase.
So nimble through the trees she pranced,
Fleet and gracious was her dance,
That my desire peaked and grew;
After her amber hide I flew,
Seeking the white puff of her tail,
Following the faint scent of her trail.
Through the crest of the trees I came,
Into a circled, open plain.
IV.
No doe did I see but a Nymph
And at once my body went limp.
Lying on her side she was spread,
And naked from her feet to head,
Her amber locks covered the ground:
Laying flat here and there in mounds,
Like a rolling thin stranded sea
That ebbed every time she breathed.
Light from her sapphire eyes shined
And froze me when they locked with mine.
I longed for her soft velvet lips,
To blend mine with hers by a kiss.
How heavenly her body was:
Godly and lacking any flaw,
Shaped like a thin necked vase and round
Near her thighs, then tapers down;
O! Rounded perfectly her breasts:
Firm and slight upturned like crests.
She moved slowly her thin framed limbs
And seemed to above her hair swim.
V.
From her body an ether bloomed,
It lingered over her skin: loomed,
Sat, and drifted across her face,
Stomach, body, and smelled of grace;
But it was a musty scent:
It harassed my eyes, and loins scent
Wild, ferocious, and alive;
If held constrained thought I would die.
Her body lifted off the ground
Slightly and her hair wrapped around
My arms and legs, then her hips rolled,
Fell to the earth keeping her hold;
Gyrated her rich loins and thighs:
She spread her milky legs aside.
VI.
She drew me towards her and on;
The sadness was forever gone:
By kiss, a drop of ichor passed
From heaven to earth and I grasped
The Nymph, quivered in tender throes,
Quaking and my whole body moaned:
It did not fade but always grew;
Each move caused pleasure to renew;
Feeling as though through water flied,
Broke its surface and met the sky
And remained between firmaments.
So strongly by her earth was bent,
It seemed to speed up by an age;
Or Uranus and Gaia laid,
Together over and bellow us;
With each touch the ancient gods thrust!
Then the Nymph and I were one,
All pleasure before became none.
Her spirit’s true form was like a shade:
Half of earth, and half heaven made,
For at times my thrusts caused her speak;
But at times found a mist beneath;
So where once living flesh spoke out,
At others the essence of clouds;
Locked as one, I needed not breathe
Nor had voice for a loving scream.
VII.
What is a day when love abounds;
In ten I but a minute found,
And then I woke as from a dream,
Nor could say things were as they seemed.
My summer Nymph had disappeared;
No longer heartache did I feel.
But wrapped around my legs and wrists,
Were twisted strands: marks of our tryst.
Though she was gone, I knew she was
In the woods or among the stars.
Now ask the poet was is lust and love;
Truth in idea, or truth in form.
Question not, look to the heavens .
At one spot a celestial orb sits,
Burns in fiery reds, her name is Venus;
But behind in the empty barren cold
Sits True Love and each night he cries alone,
Before the existence he helped create;
His purpose is lost in our human states.
*******
A Single light
And so it sets
Ever since I was born seen as less;
But I was loved and in private kissed,
Told I was good—superior blessed.
I was liked alone where eyes can't come.
Then in the world where people move
Jump, scream, touch machines; move
I was noticed, but noticed as less
And those that loved me held their breath
Saying excuses, in a rosy mood.
But where I came short, I do not know!
Commits no crime, hates no soul;
But always does good or does nothing at all.
If I was ever to become myself
And be seen by all how I know myself
I'll watch pride swell in eyes that left,
Hearing great praise from loved ones; loved nowhere
I should feel the same and never forget.
**********
A space of Time
Outside my house is a space of land;
There no one knows whether I am alive:
A living garden kept from human hands
Where the moon and the sun alone, set and rise;
Never there have I a living thing seen:
Animals that crawl or through the air fly,
Or bugs that for one day flash, live and die:
Nothing but vegetation ever grows,
There where the earth forbids all spirits and souls.
Yet by chance, one day, this place discovered,
And for many more frequented its grass;
Took of the wild berries and hanging fruits;
Ate of the herbs and bulbs beneath dirt.
For many days I lied in fields of wheat,
That swayed in the winds giving up their seeds
And began to see life: a precious thing;
Feared if I slept, I would not awake.
But then one day in the fields while I slept,
I came upon a vision: a deep dream,
That spread throughout time and infinity.
How; why I saw these things I do not know,
Nor can I guess if it was a true thought,
From being's realm or the throne of high god.
I can speak, only what I think I saw.
In my dream, I saw the emptiness black,
Not one spot, or dot to say things exist,
And for an eternity the blackness watched,
Fearing I was dead and in nothing, lost.
My heart's beat sounded and I recalled life;
From out space erupted an array of light:
Particles smashed and collided apart.
The emptiness was replaced: things became
And forever did existence remain
A thin ball of swirling gas and future days
That raced to an end, end that never came.
And that swirling matter remained the same
Until at spots where things began spin,
I watched there, as if tied upon a string,
Around one point the gasses began bond,
Twisting until, by an explosion brought,
Heat and light kept in a tremendous shock.
Light! Hope! And so I saw first existence;
But still I watched the universe expand.
Stars of such size and force, that my own self,
Was tossed, pulled, spun; wildly shot,
From sphere to sphere and distance to its end,
Saw space growing outward through nothingness.
Yet all things are proven to meet an end.
I saw the first stars collapse, exploding.
Forever, I watched stars inside graves form,
And matter building planetary orbs;
Each one I saw; wished, “Could there be life?”
Watched them burn, over time being destroyed.
Stars were born and stars were taken away;
Gone, rubble was left to show unknown remains;
Yet always, new lights in the darkness shown.
I smiled then for a new truth was known,
“As sure as there is death, there must be life
We die, but a new race will begin.”
Forever, I watched, listened and waited
Moving like a ghost
through singular space.
And could be true: I saw planets,
With algae and heat that nourished life
And on others full fledged existence shown:
Trees, growth and walking things amongst the stone.
With each sight, I shouted out, “Hope and life!”
Spending as much time as I could watching,
I saw creatures of different shape and line,
Trees, flowers, fruits, food and forever so one;
But there was one constant in my survey:
Life is life and when simplest it is great.
But in time, those creatures upon the worlds,
Grew in mind and fears like me and our race,
And I know the worlds would be turned to waste.
I remembered how sweet innocence looked
Upon those creatures and their distant worlds:
The quest for food and the pleasure of birth;
To live on: three purposes pure and true.
Remembering them, even death was soft
For it held a purpose: nothing was lost.
Then when those blessed races with consciousness
Rose, I saw reason was hidden from them.
Ignorance, Envy became those worlds' high kinds,
Giving forth to wrath, pride, sloth and hungry greed.
Though mixed in, like us was art and kind love,
Compared to the dark, that glimmer: unseen.
And I saw which I wished I had not seen,
For I know the evil in us complete.
What is science when it works foul ends!
What is poetry when it lies to men!
Those races flourished and in a short time
Destroyed their worlds and not long after died.
How they looked, moved, spoke, smelled, it matters not.
Trillions lived and died with a minor thought.
War, hate, and destruction born from envy;
That ignorance had destroyed most I saw;
But some their own world's revenge covered flaw
They being stricken away by weather;
Famine wasting away like dried grass;
Some were crashed by meteors into ash
Or distant rays that flared burning their flesh.
But one thing I saw and always held true,
Was that life died, but in time it was renewed..
So shortly did they exist looking from space,
Before in an instant they were erased.
Most planets I saw were rocks of nothing;
Cities emptied and ruins that displayed,
Markings of races from a destroyed age.
I did not know if it was worth living
When in time all things must perish and die;
Breathe and live, so that nothing knows they were.
Inside my weakest moment, I saw Earth.
The blue ball displayed with clouded whites and greens
From outside looked so peaceful and serene;
Yet as I gazed upon our human works
And saw the people moving in massed bands;
The monstrous cities choking the land;
As I prepared myself to look and hope
A dark cloud: a wave spread across the globe.
Later, when it cleared all of us were gone;
Soon, not long after our truth degraded.
All that was left were those ancient temples.
Earth was reclaimed by plants and animals.
Where was I then in the limits of space,
The last person, with no home or kept place.
The stars exploded and the worlds drew back
Matter collected, spread; nothing was left;
There, I heard in the darkness shout a voice
And all existence inside space was snapped,
Recoiled hard and froze at one small point.
Nothing, nowhere, no one; how did I feel;
I choked, drew in a breath, opened my eyes,
Among the grain stalks and ground where I lied.
**************
Girl in a dewdrop
Where is the woman that moves in sheets,
Floats in the air, drifts on her feet,
Glides, so simply, and swims along words,
Laughs, blows kisses that can not be heard.
Her dress is soft and rough the lining,
And I think I kissed enough woman,
To know the thought that saliva drew,
That calls on a song, a voice to move.
But when I see that spinning, though gone,
I come chasing after trailing arms,
Faster! In circles for love to taste,
The lower air and a song to break.
Yet what do I grasp when my arms close:
A picture, a thought and nothing more.
I see her eyes, live, dancing away.
So I grab at any chest; scream her name.
***********
Phantasms
The vision cracks and all the I can see,
Is broken black in my glass memory.
Who I am has removed the link:
The past that molds a character into,
The semblance of the shape; he remembers too;
And like a solar flash at times I see
Running black and fractured, frames of my life,
My mother's face and the old house's tree,
Childhood days, quiet, and the strong drink.
She tries to say, “I love you.” Is it true
Or a thing I wish for I never knew.
I see love that I have had and let by:
Things I wanted, missed, lost, forgone; denied.
In the winds I hear my name being called
Yelled from the dugout and my teacher's desk;
Said by a friend, rung out in an order,
Or whispered the first time I had sweet sex;
But they sound like the mutterings of drones,
Making me wonder where, why that name was said.
Was I hiding, or creating them;
Music brings recollections of my love
Loved me before it was undone.
I hear a faint voice saying that goodbye,
Holding my mistakes and lackings left unsaid,
While she finds the happiness in the end,
And on my lips all the sourness can taste,
Chewing on portions of long past days.
The vision cracks and all that I can see
Is broken black in my glass memory,
Where phantoms go reflecting horror and teeth,
To claws that grip and demons, towards me,
Finding phantasms, delusion; I breath
To hear and see again what is not real.
***********
A Proclamation of True Love
To be with you perhaps I could deny
The laws of earth by which men must abide,
And say my seed from one plant will grow,
Never my pollen on another throw,
And bury the urge in a mound of dirt:
From one single flower obtain my worth;
Yet in winter foliage goes cold and dies,
And is a well used thought of how love lies,
To convey an everlasting passion,
Despite the bond ending in such fashion.
So why look to plants, clouds, the moon and sun:
All things that fade or in time are undone,
And the ocean, seasons, sunset and sky:
In the end they are futile as our lives,
Existing and then passing into space;
After a universal age erased.
To say my hoped love is like a star:
Its power stutters and heat is stalled.
Now if a heaven for lovers exists
Or a realm of truth within space is mixed,
There will be the imagery to convey,
The meaning my words struggle to portray.
Forget knowledge of virtuosity,
Your chaste vessel and my right chivalry;
Forget morality to console hearts
And men whom by it try to prove their parts,
For you know it can easily be said:
In exchange for your life, I place my death;
Like many trifles of untested truth
Seen flowing from the mouths of yearning youths.
Though words seem honest from my lips,
When faced before them I might simply slip.
Now must you take that same untested word;
Or watch my actions unfold on the world:
I do not deserve such unwavering faith
And gladly for a thousand lives would wait;
But I have found a way my love to show
And for you its immortality know.
Open up your clean orbs and well taught mind,
Lifting your head and sight up to the sky.
Do not think of it as it really is,
But in the manner of what it does give.
See the sun which has created our lives,
And all the vibrant colors from its light,
Warmth, security, hope, comfort and day,
An object of good and truth it relays;
That heavenly sphere churning space above,
In it you may sense towards earth its love.
When you direct your sight upon my face
From this soul will stream its own light and grace.
For you I will become a second sun
Burning like a beacon of this real love,
Casting upon you a life giving sheen,
Water through your deep crevices will stream,
Plants, trees, grass, herbs, and weeds will coat your ground,
And mountains form from your smoldering mounds;
Colors will emerge behind your eyes, seen:
Blacks and browns mixed with dazzling blues and greens;
Then in your womb will hatch the egg of life;
If you awaken know the love is right.
When I am away my reflection stands
Embossed on all things I have laid my hands.
Each day I burn for you with the same force
And hold you securely on my course,
Nor is my light at times shown here and there,
But always on your face, body, and hair;
Then when I sleep you are not far away,
Alone in a dark cold hole made to lay,
But beside me with my aura in view;
Around my orb your legs and limbs are strewn.
It is by you I have become so bright
As the sun obtains purpose from earth’s life.
What would be the reason to go on
If it did not see its loved one anon;
Singeing the secret particles of space
For a billion years, but each year a waste.
The sun has many planets it controls,
But only upon one its loving shows.
If you feel my life, but think I may lie,
Go off and from the distance watch me die,
Diminishing with each one of your steps,
Faltering, turning black in the last breath.
If you go off take pity and turn back,
And in your sight I explode on my track,
Burning with the force of a larger sphere;
Now working the heavens to draw you near.
I give you life, but mine is drawn from you,
This is all I posses to prove it true.