Broken Hearts, Broken Promises
By Russell Saiki
Copyright 2012 by Russell Saiki
Original image by Jody Morris, Public Domain copyright.
Image Provided by PublicDomainPictures.net
Russell Saiki on Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/russellsaiki
Broken Hearts, Broken Promises is a small collection of poetry detailing heartbreak and misery. It is a history of pain and love told in the style of free-verse poetry.
***********************************************************************
To Hell With You Both
To hell with you, I tell her,
Knowing that I'll regret it later,
My temper flaring at our game,
And the manner in which we play
And to hell with you as well,
I yell at my other friend,
I wait all day and get nothing,
Not even a minute of your time.
So I'll tell you both to go to hell,
Knowing I'll regret it later,
And tomorrow I'll forgive everything,
But tonight you can both just go to hell.
***********************************************************************
Forever With Her
Arms wrapped around her,
Fingers intertwined,
Back touching chest,
Hearts beating together as one,
Eyes closed,
Dreaming together,
Of being just us forever,
Head bent to hers,
Lips pressed together,
Locked in a kiss,
To mark our love for each other,
Eternity is not long enough,
For the time we want to spend,
Locked in each others' arms,
Just like we are now.
***********************************************************************
Special Day Killed
No apology will ever make things right,
You took a special day of the year,
And dragged it painfully through the gravel,
Then sought to apologize for your behavior.
On any other day, I could be forgiving,
On any other night, I would resolve it as normal,
Today I cannot bring myself to forgive you,
Tonight I cannot bring myself to resolve it.
It feels like I never really ask for too much,
But maybe asking for this one night was,
Did you not know that it was so special to me?
Or did you simply not care that tonight was special?
I can't honestly bring myself to care enough to ask,
Just enjoy your time away from me then,
While I sit here and rot in my own misery,
It seems like a fitting way to spend this night anyway.
***********************************************************************
No Compromise
She was beautiful to me once but no more,
I cannot forgive her this sin against me,
For it will forever be scarred on my flesh,
And neither time nor surgery can heal it.
I feel so betrayed by her and she apologizes,
Her selfishness is killing us both,
But even still, I can't forgive this comment,
This single line cut deeper than any other.
Love is a compromise of two souls,
This was a lesson I learned early in life,
And without it, only heartbreak will follow,
So mine is now torn asunder once more.
Scattered into a million pieces again,
With none to help me solve the puzzle,
And no motives anymore to even try,
When love has betrayed me so many times.
What point is there to love if its always lost,
None, say I, so I will walk alone forever,
At least until I can find a new resolve,
A new compromise that won't break me.
Isn't that what I deserve or do I not?
To be alone wouldn't be so bad I think,
Happiness would be lost entirely but,
What good is it without you by my side...
***********************************************************************
As Nothing
I have tried so hard to be fair,
But you kick me aside anyway,
I have forsaken trying to be fair,
Since you and life are not fair.
I have tried to be the man you want,
But you don't know what to do with me.
I have forsaken trying to be that man,
Since you will never truly want me.
I have tried to be happy for you,
But you turn my smiles into frowns.
I have forsaken trying to be happy,
Since you will never allow me to be happy.
I have tried to convince you that I'm true,
But you keep telling me that I'm a liar.
I have forsaken trying to be true,
Since you will never bring yourself to believe me.
I have tried to be everything you wanted,
But you always tell me it will never be enough.
I have forsaken trying to be your everything,
Since you wish I would remain as nothing.
I have tried to make you love me as I do,
But you laugh and spit it all back at me in disgust.
I have forsaken trying to be your love,
Since you said you could never love me.
I have tried to be patient enough to be with you,
But you have crushed my fantasy and my heart,
I have forsaken trying to be patient now,
Since you have given me nothing but your impatience.
So today I have forsaken everything in your name,
And bore this knife as deeply into this heart of mine,
That you turned away after calling me a liar,
After telling me that I could never make you happy,
After telling me that you could never love,
After telling me that I have always meant nothing,
And I finally believe you now and will die alone,
In this small room just as you knew me, as nothing.
***********************************************************************
I Am A Fool
I am a fool,
For trusting in her,
She took my secrets,
And spilled them all.
I am a fool,
For liking her,
She only used me,
And never cared about me.
I am a fool,
For taking her back,
She did it again,
And now I'm broken.
I am a fool,
For loving her,
She took my heart,
And tore it to shreds.
I am a fool,
For not doing this sooner,
She can't hurt anyone anymore,
Never again, never again.
I am a fool, no more.
***********************************************************************
She Doesn't Get It
She is ignorant,
To all of my compliments,
My words fall softly,
But on deaf ears.
She reads the stories,
And overlooks them all,
Never stopping to think,
They could be about her.
It saddens me greatly,
That she fails to see it,
Sometimes it shows,
Most of the time it doesn't.
She fails to see,
How important she is to me,
Try as I might to show her,
It never really works out.
I doubt she'll understand,
My simple words,
She complicates everything,
It's just her way.
It's almost time to go,
So I'll make this simpler,
I love her a lot,
Not as a friend either.
Maybe now she'll get it,
I can only hope.
***********************************************************************
She Stole My Heart
It was hardly two years ago,
When she stole my heart,
We met in an online chat room,
Discussing our mutual art.
We were writers by nature,
It was simply in our blood,
We wrote vividly of life,
Words pouring out in a flood.
We started out as strangers,
That fateful night so long ago,
And ended it as friends,
I think I was the first to go.
We kept our friendship alive,
Always keeping in touch,
The flicker of a flame started,
It didn't take that much.
It didn't take long to realize,
My heart was missing,
And I found that I wanted to be,
The one she was kissing.
She stole my heart without trying,
I didn't even put up a fight,
I knew she was the one,
From that very first night.
It took her a year later,
To realize her love for me,
I was with another at the time,
But we were destined to be.
We talked every day online,
Minus the days I couldn't chat,
Those days I felt trapped and,
Reality closed in on me like a cat.
I made up for them,
With no great delay,
For I hate to keep her waiting,
As I do almost every day.
She probably deserves better,
But I hope she never leaves,
For I would be as a lost ring,
Snatched up by thieves.
I can promise her nothing,
More than my undying love,
And she'll gladly accept it,
As peacefully as a dove.
She has an angelic voice,
That gives my heart flight,
And I will protect her always,
For I am her dark knight.
My armor shines bright,
And my horse stands ready,
I only await her presence,
So I can ask her to be my steady.
When that task is over,
We'll date for awhile,
Then I'll ask her to stay,
And I'll make it worth her while.
I'll ask her to be mine forever,
Until death do we part,
And I hope she'll say yes,
For I cannot stand being apart.
***********************************************************************
Connect with Russell Online:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/russellsaiki
Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/russellsaiki