Winter Break
By: Elsha Hawk
Copyright 2011 Elsha Hawk
Smashwords Edition
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This story is purely fictional.
Winter Break
The best part about winter
Is coming soon
A break from the pressures
Of East High school
No more scrutiny
Every day
No more papers due
Or tests to take
School is a horrid place
Full of woe
Eyes are always on me
Head to toe
Hands of the clock, Move!
I command
Can’t make time go faster
Staring at the second hand
Not hearing a word
Teacher utters
Oblivious to passed notes
And student mutters
Pitched forward in my seat
Ring bell, Ring!
Gripping the edges of my books
Chime bell, Ding!
Finally, it blares, like a starting pistol
I bolt
Hit the halls, moving fast
Revolt
Spin the dial, grab the bag
Slam
Outside I can breathe
Bedlam
Students flee, fan out
Escape
Someone one calls my name
“Hey Kate”
Cold
I tried to avoid their
Eyes
But the whole group
Stared
I ducked my head
Low
And hurried past
They scowled at me
Haters
Because I had spoken
Out
For this little Emo girl
Innocent
Just different and picked on
I’m getting the cold shoulder
Now
No one has talked to me
All week
And I don’t need these
Friends
I’d rather find nicer people
“Kate, over here!” Calls out
Again
A girl waves from her car
Smiling
My new dark haired friend
Emo
Who is much nicer to me
Snow
Soft flakes gather and begin to stick
I think about how it will look
Later in the mountains
Out at the cabin in the hills
We spend Christmas skiing
My whole family goes
And the snow is so deep
It makes everything quiet
I need the silence
To cover over me
Just like I needed
Emily’s friendship
To cushion the fall
From the high pedestal
My old friends are still on
Looking down at me
I’m happy for the break
Away from my life
Time to soothe my frayed nerves
And find myself outside of those doors
The snow doesn’t care
It covers everything equally
Erases inequalities
Makes things the same
Sometimes you need to start over
Like spring after the melting snow
But first you must erase the mess
With all that white
White
I push through the door
The warm air of home
Rushes around me
Welcomes me in a hug
Breathe a sigh of relief
Home is safe, comforting
I am the real me here
I can start the day over
Erase the girl with the perfect
Clothes, hair, and smile
Bathe myself in the things I love
I come clean, taking off the mask
I am washed white
No marks on me
Put there by the scorn
And words of others
Sometimes words do hurt
They mar my view of myself
Coloring my soul in shades
Of darkest shadow
But here I can relax
The shadows are chased away
By the warm light of home
Until my soul is white
Scarves
The Mall bustles with holiday shoppers
I need a new scarf to match my new coat
I happily try a few styles on
Looking in the mirror
Behind me people pass
Reflections of themselves
But I am me now,
Not who I was
A grandmother passes
Two small girls in hand
They skip, tugging her along
And I smile
Behind them moves a young man
Hands tucked in coat pockets
Headed the opposite direction
Casually, calmly, comfortable in his skin
I admire him
Not only his stride
But as he turns,
His handsome face
I find myself holding my breath
My cheeks blush in the mirror
And I turn to see him for real
As if his mirror image lies
He sees me, with my scarf
It matches my eyes
I can’t help but grin and lower them
I turn away from this moment
Then he is beside me
“Hello, I’m Vic.”
“Kate.” I can’t believe myself!
“Nice scarf.”
“Thanks. I’m going skiing.”
“Really? Around here?”
“Lake Blue Moon”
“Really? Maybe I’ll see you there”
Coats
My ex-friends all wear coats
Of varnish over their persons
They lacquer on their smiles
And pretend they are perfect
But Vic didn’t seem to do that
Even though talking to him was easy
Which made me wonder
If he was real or hidden under a coat of varnish
I walked with him to the food court
Smiling and chatting
Sweating and blushing
My heart was fluttering
I took off my coat
And I saw them
The old clique
Sitting at a table looking at me
Would they come over
And ruin this impromptu date?
They grabbed their coats
Throwing away their food
As if I ruined their appetite
And walked past me, noses up
Kristy shoved me
Into Vic
I stumbled
He caught me
“Hey!” he called out
They stalked off
Their varnish at high sheen
His words reflecting off their coats
He saw me duck my head
I didn’t respond
I didn’t deserve their hate
He knew I had fallen
“I gotta go.”
My eyes spoke apologies
For my lowly position
“No, stay.”
Gloves
My ex friends turned at his “Hey”
Ready to fight
The gloves were off
I couldn’t believe my eyes
They stared him down
Eyes full of scorn
Hands went to hips
Frowns were worn
“What’s your deal?”
He confronted
They saw his face
And looked affronted
“Say you’re sorry”
He commanded
They scowled at me
Our group disbanded
It was but a tiny victory
I had the hunk
They couldn’t admit defeat
Their attitudes stunk
“You didn’t have to..”
I began
“You’re better than them.”
My heart swam
But I had to leave the Mall
To soon
I wondered if I’ll see him
On lake Blue Moon
I shouldn’t have let him
Fight for me
In hindsight it made
Me look weak
My head was confused
What did he think?
Did he like protecting me?
I needed a shrink
Red Cheeks
There’s only so much family
I can take in one vacation
I need to ration them out
So I hit the slopes
Swish, swoosh, stop
Skiers like gulls
Fly side to side
Dip behind hills
Appear over the crests
Watch the other skiers
Smaller and smaller
The lift nears the top
Slide from the seat
Swish, swoosh crash!
Acrobatic moves keep me upright
Someone looked up at me
A red nose under goggles
Eyes belong to Vic!
“Excuse me, my apologies”
“Oh hello Kate”
He remembered my name!
“Fancy meeting you here”
My cheeks grew red
Not from the wind
“Would you ski with me?”
We were like gulls
My nose grew red
Redder than my cheeks
The wind did not burn them
As much as my heart for him
Steam Dry
The resort fireplace is huge
Logs crackle in the flames
Heat radiates outward
Melting snow from gloves and boots
I sit across from Vic
His eyes are dreamy
I swim in them as he speaks
Giggling at the right times
My face full of light
Heart radiating outward
Floating in my chair
Melting into my shoes
As the moisture warmed
Evaporating from our clothes
We warmed to each other
Pheromones riding the steam
Our cabins were opposites
On each end of the long road
But even far apart
We never felt closer
Dry, cozy, warm in bed
The same stars twinkled
Over his head and mine
Bringing me sweet dreams
Furnace
I found him in the resort
Snowboard in hand
Decided I could try a lesson
Unafraid to crash land
With Vic as my teacher
I’d be light on my feet
His hand in mine
Even falling would be sweet
I fell into his arms
Not one time but a few
Each time wishing madly
He would get a clue
I wanted desperately to kiss him
To feel his lips on mine
Wanted desperately to hold him
His chiseled body so fine!
I burned with passion and desire
Never feeling the chill
On those slopes we spent hours
Never succumbing to lust’s will
It was a time of testing
Fine tuning to each other
Walking through the flames
A fire between one another
Log Cabin
I eat dinner in my cabin
Daydreaming over my peas
Parents catching on
Beginning to tease
“Who is he?” asks Mom
“A guy” I reply
“What’s his name?” asks Dad
“Vic” I flush, tongue-tied
Excusing myself
For a moment of peace
Chill air on my hot cheeks
Body wrapped in fleece
I consider hiking down
To a cabin number I know
Gives me goosebumps just thinking it
Fresh prints in the snow
Warm yellow light spills out
From the merriment inside
On tiptoe I peer in
Spying the scene, I could have died
Vic sits beside
A drop dead gorgeous girl
Whom he tickles and charms
Sharing hugs, makes me hurl
My insides went cold
Then numb and sad
Tears ran down freely
Never again to be glad
Skiing
My emotions went downhill
They fell so fast
Like the diamond coarse
I’d saved for last
The deadliest slope
Would welcome my tumble
As I plummet and drop
Heart in a crumble
Throwing myself
Into the wind
Muffling my cries
Tears freezing to my chin
I want to go home
I declare at the door
Surprised, my parents’ eyes
Take to the floor
They know my heart is broken
My door is slammed shut
Bed creaks with my weight
My sobs stifled somewhat
Sleep comes slowly
But red-eyed I wake
Still in my scarf
Still at the lake
Ice
Today
I don’t want
Anyone
To speak
To me
Not even
Strangers
Or waitresses
And especially
Not
Family
Friends
Or
Him
So I
Refuse to
Speak
To anyone
Or look
At them
Either
Because
If I do
I might cry
Again
Hot Cocoa
Steaming cup
Warms the hands
Then the nose
And finally the soul
I took my troubles
To a table I knew well
A silent ear waits
For me to spill
Soft hands envelop
Her own mug of warmth
Wisdom peers through
Her bespectacled eyes
She waits, the wisps of steam
Drifting up before her face
Disappearing in her white wispy hair
Knowing I will tell it all
After I spill, I wait for her
She digests the drama
Along with the hot drink
Sitting back, saying “Hm”
But she pats my hand
Says, “You know what is right.”
And I breathe a huge sigh
“I know loneliness hurts”
She peers in my eyes
“But it makes togetherness
That much sweeter.”
She is so wise!
Melt
At dinner that night
He comes in to eat
With his family
And that girl
I ignore him
When I go to the restroom
And I know he’s watching
Confused
As I leave the room
He’s at the door
“What’s wrong?”
He asks about my coldness
“Who’s she?” I say
In so many words
He sighs and smiles
“She’s my cousin”
My face goes bright red
And he opens his arms
For forgiveness
I fall in, so relieved
And embarrassed
He squeezes me
Then offers an introduction
Happy again,
I meet them, then
He meets my family
All charming
We join our tables
Fellowship and supper
Feasting and sharing
Friendship so sweet
Stars
One thing about winter,
The stars fill the sky
A giant diamond splintered
Silent nights are so crisp
Shadows so blue
Chimney smoke a gray wisp
I wish I could stay here
Stars in his dark eyes
Deep into their depths I peer
He’s completely star struck
But really it’s me
With the wonderful luck
A shooting star passes
Make a wish he says
Time slows like molasses
I close my lucky eyes
And feel him lean in
Lips to lips, not surprised
I hold him tighter then
We melt into one
Whole world stops its spin
Stars glitter and soon fade
Over love just born
And a friendship remade