Complete Works of an Unknown Poet

Chantel McGleno

Copyright Chantel Mcgleno 2011

Published at Smashwords

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All works in this book were created solely by the artist Chantel McGleno.

Dedication:

Too all who know me and said I wouldn’t do it! To all who know me and supported me throughout my life. To all of those who are out there and have a dream and think it’s not possible, to all of those who was ever told no. This book is for you! Just because you were told what something you did and worked for hard was impossible, doesn’t mean it’s still not a reality. So don’t look for a name, just read this book and realize this book is for YOU!

That’s When I’ll Stop Loving You
When the sun doesn't shine,
and the birds stop chirping,
When the water in the oceans disappears,
and butterflies quit fluttering.
When the clouds are no longer snow white and fluffy,
and the sky isn't crystal clear blue,
That’s When I'll Stop Loving You,
When the grass is no longer green,
but a worn out yellow,
and the animals no longer sleep.
Or romper in the meadow.
When the moon doesn't rise,
and the stars no longer shine,
and the morning grass isn't covered in dew.
That’s When I'll Stop Loving You.

Mother Nature

She walks out of the woods dressed in nothing but the midnight fog,
Her blue eyes glistened under the pale moonlight.
Dazed and confused,
She stumbles out of the misty bog,
Hair a shimmering silver,
Mixed with twigs and leaves.
She is a sight to behold,
A sight to be seen to believe.

Her skin such perfection,
Unmarked,
Uncut,
But lips so blue,
They looked iced.
Her eyes are a sultry divine,
That pierced even the warmest of hearts,

She began to speak,
He breath swarmed the air of all morning dew,
And spun the clouds unanimously.

The woman isn't a woman at all,
She is Nature united,
She nature divined.

Keepers of The sky

The delicatessen of the stars in the sky.
Randomly,
gently.
Light from up high.
Shimmering down upon us silently,
quietly,
Whispering among themselves.
As if they have a secret,
that they must hide.

Slowly,
Gradually,
Over the years,
their secrets have been told,
Stories begin to unfold.
But only to watchful eye,
And yet told from the keepers in the sky.

How Can I help u say goodbye?

To the pain that you felt and the tears that you cried.
How can I help you focus on your future,
live in the present, and learn from the past?
How can I help you forget those memories that still haunt you and will always last?

Wipe away those tears of sorrow,
Tears of lost love,
Tears of redemption and joy.
Just keep the ones that brought upon happiness, and sweet dreams.
And bottle them in a jar.
Let the others fall into your hand.
Watch them fade away,
And fall through like small pieces of sand.

Let your mistakes be made,
And your empty promises risen,
Live out your dreams with courage,
Don't let things be hidden.

Learn from all that has been lived,
Lost and felt.
Don't dread on the past.
For we both only know,
Not even the worst memories last.

But now...
How can I help you say goodbye>
As you sit here quietly, holding my hand as I lie,
Slowly taking my final breath.
Hoping that I taught you all that is needed to be,
How can I help you?
How can I teach you...
To say Goodbye.

Listen

Listen to the words I say,
Hear the words I speak.
Know that today might be the day,
That you will say goodbye to me.
Know that this maybe the last time I hold you
close,
I let u feel me near.
I tell you everything that you have wanted to hear.
But as I hold your hand tightly,
And wipe those tears from your eyes,
Just know,
That I never wanted you to cry.
Be happy for all that I am doing.
And who I have become.
I’m doing this for you.
For the people I love.
So Listen to the words I say,
Hear the words I speak.
Know that today might be the day
you say goodbye to me.
But I will be saying hello,
To life.

Darkness

Walking through the darkness,
Eternally through the night,
No light could be found,
Struggling with power and might.
Eternity pondered,
The end seemed so near,
Nothing was focused,
Until the darkness became clear.
Hidden up on thy own.

In the midst of rapture and serenity,
Thoughts of dying,
Will at least come with dignity,
Head held proudly high,
Unknowingly,
Unwillingly,
That no more shall cry.

No rest for the weary,
Still continued walking into the eternity,
As soon as the darkness reached the most.
I held my blade in a glory toast.
A glistening, gleaming,
Sparkle of shine.
Somehow caught my iridescent eye,
Hope filled my soul.

Tears fell down my eyes,
This was the first,
and the last time I cried.

Light was found,
Faith was renewed.
Head for home in light,

1 One 1

One stone is enough to break a glass,
To shatter into a thousand pieces,
Never moved,
For there the forever must last.

One sentence can make a fair heart turn cold.
For they have never heard the real story,
It will never be told.

One mistake can lead into a lifetime of failures,
Never knowing to succeed,
But can harness the reactions.
And let your own self lead.

One morning you can awake,
From your deep, lost, tranquil state.
and see all that life has to show.

One night you could fall asleep and dream,
And never to awake,
but that’s all life is,
That is all that we seem.

One seems so little,
so pity
so few
But there is many of them
Just one of you

Mask of Makeup

Hidden behind makeup and lies,
Lays a person one needs to find.

Hidden being camouflage, rouge and foundation,
Scared to rise to see what the day brings.
Showered, dressed and hair burnt.
Many split ends.

A face of invisibility is layered on,
No one will ever her see her without her makeup on.
But there lies your true beauty,
You're only salvation,
Your need,
Your hunger,
Your starvation,
Your life.

Yet everyday your beauteous flaws,
Slip away,
In to a bottle of Oil of Olay.

You will forever be hidden behind,
Your mask of makeup,
And will never let anyone see the real you.

Vampire Heart

Bitten,
blood trickles down,
Broken to pieces,
Still;
Holding a crimson rose.

Loved me,
used me,
darkness came and overtook.

Waken Dead,
afterlife to follow,
Here I stand,
Hollow,

Tears are falling from my eyes,
Tears of blood,
drip onto the floor.

I am alive,
Yet no more to love,
My crimson rose petals,
~fall.
In to the puddles of blood.
Drawn near my feet
Now I just listen to my Vampire Heart.

Dark Night

The night is dark,
The lightening strikes,
gently there is a rap at my front door.
~I ignore it.

I hear the clock ticking,
as if each second was a beating of my own heart.
tick, tock, tick, tock, tick.

The night gets darker,
the lighting gets brighter.
the thunder grows louder,
and there is a rapping at my front door.

I call out to whom it maybe,
but there is no sound,
Just the voice of me.

Now the night is completely black,
not a drop a light to be found.
I can hear the thunder roar,
It penetrates,
it shakes,
my front door.
Thankfully I can hear the ticking no more.

I sit back quietly,
listen to the rainfall upon my roof.
then again a rapping at the door.

Tired, restless,
I call no more names,
Now wondering,
Needing to see,
Who is tapping,
Who is rapping,
at my front door.

Click... Click,
I opened the door.
My mouth dropped,
my eyes enlarged,
I was in shock,
with fear and with horror.
at for who was on the other side of my front door.

She stood there in white,
completely dry,
Strange for it has been storming all night.

Her soft brown hair,
clung to her face,
Her hands stayed at her side,
Strictly,
sternly,
she stood in place.

Her ocean blue eyes,
glistened like the diamonds in the rough.
I could speak,
not a sound,
For the attempt was just to tough.

She smiled so sweetly,
this angelic like grin,
Asked me politely if she could come in.

Her voice was so sweet and melancholy,
the she touched my face,
just ever so gently.

"Its been 2 years my dear.
You never came to call.
I've been waiting since that fall.
When you asked for my hand in marriage under that large oak.
I gave you my answer,
and that was the last we had spoke.

Now I have been thinking of what life would have been like if there ever was a we.
Even now after 2 years,
Would you still want to Marry me??"

I couldn't speak,
I could barely breath,
suddenly I just dropped to my knees.

Amelia my darling,
I did want to marry you!
And I still would,
but I moved on with my life,
and now I do have a new wife.

Tears fell down her pale white cheeks,
and she begged to know why.
That was then when I started to cry.

Two years ago,
my darling,
my love.
You were in an accident,
and I lost you my love.

I sat near your side for 4 days,
and 4 nights,
I sat there hoping that you would live,
and we could start a new life.

But finally that day came,
Do you remember my last words to you?

"Yes." She cried,
Amelia, You are my heart, my soul, my life to the end.
You were my lover, my soul mate, my best friend.
No matter what happens, I will always be with thee...
For you Amelia are a part of me."

"That’s right, he said.
So why do you come now?"

"Because, Its your turn to come with thee."

Clock Tick Tock

I'm listening to the clock tick tock away,

*sigh* went and gone another day.
Another day you weren't here.
or me there.
Another day lost in a day dream of you pulling me near.

Holding me close.
Keeping me tight.
Kissing my lips and giving me that kiss that feels just so right.

I'm listening to the water drip drop in to the sink.
Cuddled here so quietly with thoughts of you I could only think.

Laying here close,
Intertwined together,
Lost in conversation,
That seems to go on forever.

No passion needed for our undying fire,
We keep it burning by just a touch each other.

I sit here listless listening to the wind sing.
Thinking of your voice as it softly rings.
Through my mind.
Can't we just fast forward time,
To the next time we will be together.
And let the moments slip on for an eternity of forever’s.

Until that time I will be patient and wait.
I will just sit here and wait..

Heart is Content

Until thy own heart is content,
Thou shall not be happy,
A mournful tide shall fall upon thine mere mortal of life,
and whisk away all hopes that derides.

Until thy own heart is content,
Thou shant back down from a gesture,
of any means or mines.
A dagger can fall and break,
Thou shall not budge upon where I lay.
Until thy own heart is content.

Until thy own heart is content,
I shall not accept my grace,
I shall not hence anything that hithers my say so.
Until thy own heart is content,
I shall rid the hatred of me,
and find longing in unspoken peace.
Until thy own heart is content.

Until thy own heart is content,
Thou shall not see joy upon my face.
Thou shall not you see morn.
I will be blank as a canvas,
That mere artist paints upon.

Until thy picture is drawn upon my skeletal brow,
My heart will not be content.
So paint unknown artist,
Paint my hearts to its content.

New Years Resolution

New Year’s Resolutions ,
What a big to do?!
Sitting here in this hotel room,
drinking down a few beers.
I am alone,
Once again,
No one called,
Dumped all my friends,
This is it I am calling all ends.

I knew what I will do,
to start this New years and make it true,
I'll make a resolution,
Just this one,
To find myself and have fun.

No weight loss for me,
no thanks
no way.
Besides to me this isn't just another day.

I have a whole new year to look on to,
to start from scratch,
I won't be stupid like last year,
never again like that.

untitled again

Have you ever dreamt about somebody you knew?
Then you woke up and felt so true?
In a situation like this what would you do?
Does it mean that person you dreamt about really needs you?

After you awaken,
full eyed and alert,
Do you see something that makes your eyes open,
and your heart kind of hurt?

Something as small as a poem perhaps?
Or something more like it shocks you
and all you can do is gasp?

What can you do when you can make it to them?
Make it when you can?
That is when?

You don' t know the number,
no address to return, just some thoughts and some feelings

My writing to keep me alive My life is boring, it is really dull, But everyone else’s life seems glorious and full. I have done much of anything all year long, I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong. I find myself taking care of my family, more than I am me, If it wasn't for me at times I wonder where they would be? Probably out on the streets looking for a home, Searching, and searching, days on end they would roam. Yet I sit back and think on how my life would have been if I had more friends, did this and that, had money and not be so flat, in the wallet I am so low in cash. I have no car, no boyfriend, so what I am to do, make the best of it and go through, it all, with pride, and dignity, honor and trust. let my heart still be at lust, Over I can't see until I move down by he, which will be later than had planned, then school, no rest for 4 months, but how bad can that be? I'll know things will get better, trust me I hope, For I have my writing, and that is all that I will need.

I wish...

I wish I didn't have to grow up so fast,
I wish all the goods that happened would last,
I wish I didn't have to be an adult right away,
and make the kind of decisions that I had to make like today,

I wish I could meet people that is just like me,
Who have to care for more than themselves,
like maybe two or three,
that doesn't have a lot of friends because they are helping their parent's make the meat ends,
I wish I didn't have to cry myself to sleep,
I wish somebody could see me for me,
I wish there weren't stereotypes about how life is supposed to be,

I wish I could be like other teenagers my age,
and live life to the fullest and not be so afraid,
of where life may take you,
not only you but your family,
and if they don't pay the bills then what’s going to happen to,
them and to you.

I wish at times I had a man in my life,
One that would stick with me and be at my side,
I wish I had my best friend back,
At least I around her I could just chill,
and be completely relaxed.

There are so many things I wish for but only a few can come true,
I just wish I knew what to do,

Drums Of War

I wake up in the horizon,
I see the morning sun,
I weep knowing that morning has come.
I hear the drums they are beating,
faster at a quicker pace,
wishing I could be in a different, better place.

My brothers and sisters come far and wide,
Out of our teepees,
No more do we hide,
The drums of war are beating,
Things are about to collide,

The warriors are ready,
Fully dressed, in gown,
I watch the leather to the spear,
It turns round and round,

The weapons are ready,
The warriors stead at hand,
but low and behold,
where is the medicine man.

We'll need his guidance,
his wisdom today,
Because today is the day,

We prove our power,
we'll take our vengeance,
We'll a line like a strong tower.

The women they'll stay back,
nobody will be relaxed,

We come back victorious,
and eat a mighty feast,
Knowing we won against the spurious beast.

Slowly we start walking out against the might sun,
Today everyone has become one,
There are no difference,
We are all just the same,
Today is the day this beast is going to be tamed,

We battle our battle,
We fought our war,
We lost many warriors,
and hearts will be tore.

So good luck to all the warriors,
The many and the few,
We fight our fight,
and win this challenging feud.

When we get back,
this drums will quit beating,
The will be no more war,
Peoples heart can quit bleeding,
We won our fight,
we won our war,

A victory cry will be held out through the land,
A boy today will become a man.
So wish us luck with an imperious cry,
Hopefully today no one will die.

So good luck to all the warriors that leave the tribe behind,
Follow your heart,
and use the wind as a guide,
The trees will help you as shade during the day,
The animals will help as food,
Go catch them they are your prey.

Good bye all my warriors,
Return back soon and safe,
For your family will be waiting,
Right here we'll stay.

Love You forever and a Day

I feel your rough hand touch my face,
I am drifting off in to space,

You pull me closer,
You draw me near,
Whispering softly in my ear,

I love you my darling,
I'll love you now and forever,
forever and a day.
My love for you will never stray.

I feel weightless in your masculine arms,
safe, and protected,
away from harm.

I love you my darling,
I'll love now and forever,
forever and a day,
my love for you will never stray.

I. L.O.V.E. Y.O.U.

Inside my heart there is a picture of you.

Loving me sweetly like you always do
Over and over again you sweetly whisper in my ear.
Visions of me and you, as I am holding you near.
Everyday and every night sweetly kissing you softly my dear.

Yesterday was a start,
On a path to win my heart,
Under the midnight sky

Fantasy

Rose buds gently kiss my window frame,
As the sunflower sun glistens through my window.
A cool gentle breeze slides through my window,
and cradles me in warmth.

Softly footsteps are heard,
Making sure that no one is to be disturbed.
My door creaks,
and inward you soflty peek,

I love you is whispered from your soft pink lips,
I whisper it back as if the world is hand,
and I your fingertips.

You step in and lay beside me,
I feel blind, like I cannot see.
Blind in love maybe,
For the heart and my soul, I give unto thee

Best Friends

Back in kindergarten a best friend was someone that held your hand down the long, scary hallways.

In first grade a best friend was someone that shared their snack with you when you forgot yours.

In second grade a best friend was someone that saved you a swing outside at recess.

In third grade a best friend was the one that helped you study a spelling test even though you knew that you were going to fail.

In fourth grade a best friend was the one that sat beside you at lunch.

In fifth grade a best friend was the one that kept your secret of your secret crush.

In sixth grade a best friend was the one that told Billy that you had a crush.

In seventh grade a best friend was the one that saved your desk near them the first day in homeroom.

In eighth grade a best friend was the one that let you cheat off of her when you forget to get that paper done.

In ninth grade a best friend was the one that cheered you on at the volleyball game.

In tenth grade a best friend was someone that you could call at 2 'o' clock in the morning and cry when you and Billy broke up.

In eleventh grade a best friend was someone that went with you to pick out your new car,

In twelfth grade a best friend is the there to ensure you made it this far.

A best friend is there to see you through,
no matter what you do.

Love

It seems year long, a year so mere.
I seen times tough, for nor I have found love my true love dear.
maybe he is out singing like trees in the breeze,
or talking like crickets chirp.
Get a grasp on our true earth.
Where ever it is that he doth lays.
I hope he is loving all his traveling ways. when it is time for us to meet.
We'll grasp hands no need to speak.
Just the rhythms of our hearts beating; melancholy.
Will grant it be,
my love given unto thee.

Rebuild

If silence is golden then why is mine so frightening, I paused, I waited, I listened, I exhaled, It happened.

The rocks fell down, The fortress defeated,

I surrendered, To another belief that wasn't true.

To another hopefully wish of a sabotage of lies.

To another fall back of I'm sorry's, You don't understand, But I do, Believe me I do.

I pick up the fallen pieces of where my heart has been,

Sweep it under the rug,

For I am too tired, After this heartbreak to rebuild. I am simply to tired, To rebuild.

Rage

A tiger's eye glistens,
a loud roar soars from his gaping mouth.
- teeth everywhere.

A sudden blow
knocked to the ground.
World is spinning round and round.

the sky turns red,
the moon will not rise.
Its hidden,
hidden in disguise

Fear fences the rage.
no remorse,
letting the tiger take its course.

Rage is shown,
Rage is out,
RAGE
RAGE
RAGE
Until the red light is out.

She reminded me of Me

Dust filled the air and my scenses.

The fragrance of fall lingered in the air.

Everywhere I turned and I seen her,

It reminded me of you.

The way she ran ahead of the pack,

Teaching her baby sister the ways of the wood.

Peeking back every once in awhile to see if I was still there.

We came across the lake,

The sun setting over the yonder,

Glistening and glaring,

Blinding you with the site.

She ran into the water.

Waves flew up around her,

They hugged her as they started their dance.

When she dipped they dipped,

When she twirled,

They twirled.

They are in their own private moment.

Their own intimate pleasure.

And for that moment,

No one else was around.

Kind of like you,

When you were at that age.

Still so young and nieve,

and the lake trying to adjust itself to you.

I felt a lump in my throat rise,

But I swallowed it back down.

This time was not a time to cry.

It was time to sit and watch,

Smile and feel the warmth of love fill the bay.

She reminded me so much of you.

So much of you. stir.

Rainbow

Crayons scattered across the floor,

Little hands scurrying fast as lighting,

colors array flashing across the piece of white paper,

You don't ask what she is drawing,

What she is doing,

You just sit there and watch.

In amazement,

Pure wonder,

At all of her sweet innocence.

She puts her feet up in the air behind her,

Her little foot swinging free,

Her head tilts from side to side,

She lets out a deep sigh.

Oh, She messed up!

You so badly to want to go and fix it but you know you can't.

It's her drawing,

It's her mistake,

She needs to do it on her own.

Little do you know that she is learning without you even being the teacher.

So enthralled yet in all that she does,

You carefully and quietly sit on the couch behind her.

Let the silence fill the air,

Ponder what is going on in that little mind of hers.

Is she listening to music?

Her favorite song?

Or daydreaming of a place far, far away.

What is my little girl doing?

Finally her hand stops moving.

"MM HMM!"

Is all she says.

She turns her little body half way around and says,

"Oh hi mommy, I didn't know you were there. Look I made you a rainbow!"

And what a pretty rainbow it is you think,

As you smile and embrace her in a hug.

Looking to see if you can find the mistake she made but you can't.

She covered it up so well!

"mommy," she says.

"When I grow up can I be a rainbow?"

You smile that warm motherly smile,

"Whatever you want to be baby. Whatever you want to be."

Just that small bit of reassurance is all she needs.

She smiles, lies back down on the carpeting with crayons and paper in hand,

Drawing all over again.

Such small wisdom we learn from the voices of babes,

We take so much for granted,

Without the thought of repercussion.

Since when is it no longer okay for us to want to be rainbows,

Unicorns, Wizards who can fly on dragon tails,

A witch brewing a poison apple for snow white.

If I had my choice,

Right now I'd be,

That Rainbow,

Shining brightly across the sky,

Bringing warmth and hope,

To all who can see me.

That's what I'd be.

Life or something like it

Everything is perfect,
or so they say.
Yet everything turns out all the same.
Everything is all planned,
and in your mind you have no doubt,
Nothing will go wrong.
It all alright,
Everyday turns in to a fight.
Every morning runs like clockwork.
Out of bed and off to work.
The job sucks,
Like most jobs do.
Lucky me,
I’m not one of the fortunate few.
They wake up happy
Without a sigh.
As my life slowly drifts on by.
I expected something better,
Maybe more of my self.
I'm suppose to live life to the fullest,
not something like it.

Daddy’s Poem

"My daddy doesn't have to be here for me to be a daddy's girl right?

Can I still be a daddy's girl if he is with God watching over me?"

My mommy always told me,

God needed another angel so he took my daddy.

What a strong angel my daddy would be.

He has muscles on his muscles on his muscles,

And a million feet tall.

What a strong angel my daddy must be.

I wonder if he works with God right by his side,

Or maybe he has another job,

He helps other angels to fly.

I wonder if he works with God right by his side.

I wonder if my daddy watches all that I do,

Playing at the playground,

Climbing tall trees.

"Hey daddy!" to the sky I scream.

CAN YOU SEE ME?!

Can you see me?

My mommy always told me,

If I needed you,

You'd be in my heart.

I could talk to you whenever I want,

So we would never be apart.

Can you hear me then daddy?

Can you?

I wonder if you can still be a daddy's girl,

Now even after you are grown.

If your dad is heaven and watched your life unfold from a living hell.

To a form of happiness you're trying to live so well.

My mom always said that he is heaven watching all that I do.

I just hope that he is as proud of me,

As my mom is too.

I'm sure he is.

I don't want to contemplate if things would be different,

If he was around.

Dreams of him keeps me rooted to the ground.

He taught me if you love someone say it!

Show it,

FEEL IT!

Because you truly never know when,

God decides he needs another angel.

Another strong man,

To help his angels fly....

Signs

Everyone should hold a sign that says what they are,
Shallow, procrastinator, guilty, last at the bar.
Never part of the in crowd, always just stands around,
Invisible, out spoken, can't even hear a sound.
Ugly, Fat, Hopeless, in Love,
So happy that heaven is the next step above,
Yes or No,
Always on the go,
Lonely...
No friends....
No life...
Everything is put on hold...

God's A Woman

Whispering lullabies,
gently at night,
Quietly listening to the birds in flight,
The tall grass bends,
over touching the ground,
Lighting flashes,
and the thunder pounds.
Rain trickles down harder and faster,
It changed so quickly,
Proving that God maybe a woman to

Faith

Coldness gives birth to the chills down my spine,

Refreshing; hence brief moment I thought I was dead.

Cold sweats cover me as if I am wrapped in a blanket,

Struggling and throwing but can't get it off.

I crawl out of my solitude,

I coven of terror,

To find the terror; terror everywhere.

I close my eyes,

Imagine that it's not real.

Alas..

To my surmise,

It is.

I scream!!

Nothing comes out.

I scream again!

Yet still nothing.

Have I gone mute?

What happened to my voice?

Why can I not scream?

Tears trickle down my face,

It burns my skin.

Oh please I pray,

Let me awake.

Let me come out of this...

Endless fury of hatred!

Nothing.

I continue to crawl,

My legs won't allow me to stand.

My vision grows weak,

I can barely see a foot in front of me.

Is it smoke?

What is that blocking my view?

Soon..

I am blind.

My vision is gone,

Everything is black.

The only thing I have left is my sense of touch and sound.

But I'm afraid,

That soon those will be gone too.

I continue to trek forth on my journey.

Pleading to whatever God hears my prayers.

Someone hear me!

Someone ANSWER ME!

Still nothing.

I continue to trek forth into darkness.

What is my only other option?

To go back forth to the hell hole I was once oblivion too?

No.

Besides I wouldn't know the way.

The air grows heavy,

The smell turns rancid.

Smoldering soot?

Rotting ashes?

Brimstone?

I try to gag but I'm afraid to open my mouth.

I began to sweat again,

What clothes I have on me is clung so tightly,

Like velveteen rope.

I wiggle and squirm but it won't come off.

I hear something.

Faintly,

I don't know what it is.

Whispers perhaps?

Other people?

HEY! I try to scream.

I'm over hear!

But nothing.

Soon..

All falls silent.

NO! Not this too.

I fall to the ground.

Unable to carry myself anymore.

Deaf,

Mute,

Numb.

I pray to my God,

My heavenly creator,

Please,

I say.

Release from this terror.

From all that I seen.

I that I felt,

All that I heard.

I now know your struggles,

Your pain,

I have faith.

I know that I what I am going through I cannot do alone!

I reach to you farther for now in nothing but true faith and love.

For I too have crawled the floor of hell,

Only to survive.

I fell asleep,

In a pool of my tears and I am afraid too but blood.

To awaken,

In my bed,

with the faith of the Lord by my side.

My Love

My heart you will receive,
For seeing the true me.
The impossible will be possible,
The blind will now see.
There won't be any beaches without any sand,
All of your wishes will be granted by holiding my hand.
My heart you will recieve
for seeing the true me,
My love is what you will have so us can become we.

My world turned upside down

When you are gone my world is topsy turvy turned upside down.

First it was the little things I was missing,

My wallet,

My keys,

A spoon.

Now the longer you are away,

The bigger the items,

a book,

my chair,

My car.

Hidden,

Lost abound the sea,

Of a naturess valley,

Created by you for me.

When you are gone my world is topsy turvy turned upside down,

First it was the little things I was missing,

My wallet,

My keys,

A spoon.

Now the longer you are away,

The bigger the items,

My house,

My home,

My state.

Continent pieces of me are slipping by,

Floating in the water,

High above any lani,

Mountain,

or Grandeur mountain side.

When you are gone my world is topsy turny turned upside down.

First it was the little things I was missing,

My wallet,

My keys,

My spoon.

Now all that is missing is you

For those who dare not speak thy name

For those who dare not speak thy name,
Maybe hiding somethings in shame,
Yet to ponder whats there to hide,
Why not come out,
your name don't deny.

Why say words,
so hatred,
so cruel.
And not even show the real you.

For those who dare not speak thy name,
History repeats again, and again.
Coming unknowingly,
unwillingly to date,
Then you shall receive your destined fate.

With words so creul,
so harsh yet mellow,
Good bye my dear fellow.

For those who dare not speak thy name,
There must be a black cloud upon you that rains.
It must not stopped,
Tread water,
fast speed.
But do not take hardship on those you inpeed.

Calling Upon my Creator

I can hear the whispers on the wind,

It helps me know that I am still alive,

I can feel the sticks beneath my feet,

It helps me know that I am still moving.

I can taste the bitterness of the cold,

I can smell the wetness of the land.

It helps me to know I will survive.

I pray a prayer to my creator,

To my holy one,

Asking for strength,

And for forgiveness for all the bad things that I have done.

I ask upon him or her,

To help me make it just one more mile,

One more step,

Just one more.

Because without their help i'd have already died on this cold natured floor.

I take a deep breath,

The cold nips at my lungs,

I lean against a tree for support,

Somehow I know it'll help me.

I take step,

I then take two.

I have to keep moving,

I know I need too.

One step,

Two step,

Three step,

Four.

A light!

I see a light.

My prayers,

They've been answered,

Thank you,

Thank you.

I step out of the woods,

My rugged barren tombstone,

My nature ridden grave.

To find another obstacle,

A field.

Nothing to lean on now,

I'm almost out!

I pray and I pray some more.

If I am to survive,

And can no longer depend on me,

I'll depend on my creator,

He'll help me believe,

He'll help me believe...

United in passion

I lie here awake,

Panting,

sheets clung to my barren body,

beads of sweat still freshly clung to my brow.

I moan in anatomist,

Groan in the regret that you aren't here.

How can the yearning I feel seem so real,

Yet I lie here alone?

I try to move but my body aches,

Sore from the climax of sensuality,

When did this happen?

What did I dream of?

Was it of you?

Please let it be,

I wish it were more than just a dream.

I saunter in to the bathroom,

feeling the cool tiling beneath my feet,

The warmth of the water fall gently over my body.

mmm how it feels,

The droplet rushing down,

Covering my body like you did last night.

At least I dreamt you did.

Who else could it have been.

I almost hate to wash off this feel of ecstasy.

Alas,

I step from the shower,

Feeling clean and rejuvenated,

Wrapped in a towel I slowly step into the kitchen,

Reach in the fridge for a drink when I see a note.

"You looked so peaceful I hated to wake you. Enjoy your morning I will see you soon, lots of love."

So it wasn't a dream after all,

You were there,

As was I,

Adjoined together,

Perfectly,

Lovingly,

United

Standing on the Edge of Goodbye

One day this old lady looked up at me and sighed,
I wish I didn't have regrets in life.
I wish I would have loved my family more,
I wish I could have healed my daughters,
when their tummies were sore.
I wish I could stop wishing,
and keep living my life some more.

So I stopped and asked the old lady, some questions about her life,
Whether she lived in the shadows or did she walk with pride.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes,
and said her whole life she had to hide.
She couldn't be a woman, like women are today,
She had to watch her love be buried,
just the other day.
She said her life was misery, until she had her kids,
Then she quit hiding,
and then had all the regrets.

She told me how she was born to a poor, blue-collar farmer,
who all he did was talk non-sense and had no idea how to raise his kids.

Her brothers and sisters left just as quick as they came.
Talking about how their daddy was truly insane.

She didn't know,
she never said a word,
Until she stopped and her world took a turn,

A man came and walked in to her family's life,
Said he was a landowner,
As he smoked upon his pipe.

He talked about riches fine diamonds, and things,
The more he kept talking,
the more momma looked like she was ready to sing.

They sold the land, all the harvest and farm too.
Just to set out to this town,
and I felt so blue.

I moved away from ma and pa,
as quickly as I came to age,

Met my charming man and was wed the next day.
We had 5 children,
3 girls and 2 boys.
All grown up with the children,
living in Illinois.

I just looked at the lady with tears in my eyes,
Hoping she can live in her next life.
I looked at my watch and it was time to go,
So I thanked her kindly for the story,
Thinking she was glad to have told her story,
Even if it was to someone she didn't know.

Two days later I looked in the newspaper,
On the obituary page,
and there was a picture of that old lady,
I couldn't believe how hard I did weep.

I know she is in heaven,
living her life all over again,
Telling her story,
day to day until she reaches the end.

Abused

She falls to her knees,

Not just asking for forgiveness,

But for mercy from him too.

Tears cling to her face,

Her only way of knowing she is still alive.

Her last thought...

I wonder if tears are ever shed in heaven,

Not because of sorrow but because of joy.

Bang..

Squad cars surround the house,

In 2's and 3's and 4's.

Suspect fled the scene,

Where he went no one knows for sure.

The place out a surveillance,

They'll find the coward that did this,

One officer said he won't stop looking till he is placed behind bars.

He is running,

his breath ragged,

Silencer didn't work.

"Stupid bitch should have listened, quit running around, acting like a whore."

He climbed a fence,

Cut his leg,

Pant leg tore.

"Shit!"

He just keeps running until he can't run no more.

Hides in a shack, a home, whatever it is he don't care.

He'll hide in here until the coast is clear.

He leans his head back against the cool metallic steel,

Exhausted from the running,

He sleeps..

"It's a crappy thing you did to me, a gunshot to the head. A better man, well... a man in general wouldn't have done such a thing. If I were a real woman I would have left you a long time ago."

He glances around the dark, searching for her..

"

I'm just dreaming.. I killed her, that couldn't have been her."

"Ya that's right. your're dreaming. Like I was the first time you hit me. Promised myself I would never let you hit me again."

He bolts up right, hitting his head on something hanging low from the ceiling.Where are you? Come on now.. show urself to me? If I didn't kill you then I'll kill you now!

"Oh I'm dead. Deader than a doornail. Physically at least. But where am I? Right here,

Next to you, Inside your itty bitty mind. Haunting you, he he.

And I will be just that until the end of time."

He lets out a scream and runs out the door,

Never to be seen again,

Never more never more .

People say he committed suicide,

Others say he's just in hiding and hiding good.

Others claim to have seen him,

Talking to himself,

Crazy ramblings and so on.

They just shrugged it off.

He did go crazy,

As crazy as one go.

To kill someone,

Red wine

Red wine spilled on my white rug,
My shirt is getting worn for the children do tug,
I am tired,
I am sleepy,
yet I am awake and wired.
Messes are happening all around,
Yet no fixes can be found.
Red wine spilled on my red rug,
They children came up to me wanting a hug,
I happy,
not sad,
Glad,
not mad.
Lifes problems are fixed,
as I sit and sip on another drink mixed.

Nature.. Shh..

Silence hears beauty,

Voices create a stir so hush!

Shh,

Shh,

Shh.

Listen.. Do you hear that??

The snow blanketing the trees at dawn?

In it's soft, white crystallizes,

warmth to them,

Freezing to you and me.

Silence hears beauty,

Voices create a stir so hush!

Shh,

Shh,

Shh.

Do you hear that?

The suns bright greeting?

Stretching, and stretching and stretching out in all it's hues.

The oranges, the pinks, the goldenrods, the blues,

Stretching out it's beauty to show me and you.

Silence hears beauty,

Voices create a stir,

So hush!

Shh,

Shh,

Shh.

Do you hear those leaves falling,

Falling by one, twos and threes.

They're dancing on the wind the melodius song it plays.

They're swirling, the dipping, the trees scream encore!

For when the dance is complete,

He rest them gently on the ground,

For no matter how much the wind howls,

Even him stays quiet at times,

Quiet not to make a sound.

Silence hears beauty,

Voices create a stir,

So hush!

Shh,

Shh,

Shh.

Listen to the beauty that surrounds you,

Take in what your heart can behold,

Treasure the moments your eyes let see,

And remember the importance of nature to you and to me.

Now hush!

Silence hears beauty..

Shh,

Shh,

Shh.

Left alone

No one was there,
it was just me,
I was blind,
I couldn't see,
It was dark,
and cold,
I sit there and my breath I hold,
The stairs would creak,
I wouldn't speak.
Was it you,
or something else,
Another problem to me I was dealt.
Left alone,
and so afraid of these round about escalades.
Left alone in the dark cold place,
left alone with the dark face to face.

Cannot Find her

I looked and today and yester year,

I cannot find her.

I searched hi and lo,

From here to there,

I cannot find her anywhere.

I climbed mountains,

Dug gorges,

Tromped the swamps all the way through.

I cannot find her.

I moved pebbles,

Rocks,

Climbed cliffs.

Searched through the high grasses,

And narrow terrains,

I cannot find her.

I searched villages small and big,

Cities where I was almost over run!

Towns,

So quiet and quaint I dare not sneeze.

I could not find her.

I went to vegas,

LA,

Minneapolis,

Chicago,

New York.

She was nowhere to be found.

Traveled by sea,

By plane,

I swam.

To Rome,

Paris,

Moscow,

I cannot find her.

I asked for help from the passing hitchhiker,

Traveler,

Wandered,

Gypsy.

Still.. nothing.

I asked the old and the young,

The rich and the poor,

And all in-between.

No one has seen her.

I asked priests, and rabbi’s, fathers, and queens.

Nothing.

I gave up asking,

I gave up searching.

For she was gone.

My sister,

My friend.

I walked back to my home,

It's been so long,

The grass is over grown,

Vines covered my door,

Rocks broken on my walk',

I turned the key into the lock,

It made and echoy click.

And there she was,

And the she has been,

My sister,

My friend..

At home..

She was gone,

Looking for me...

Four Fathers

One dad the say is way to many.
But here is a story of a girl who said she hasn't had quite plenty.

As she was a baby quietly laying in her crib, her father quietly crept,
Whispering softly, " I love you" in hear as he most often did.
Not even able to talk yet she grown a deep, love for this strange man.
Broad shoulder, and very tall did he stand.
Hand so rough they were like sand paper.
Yet touching his darling, little girl they felt like feathers.

He carefully pick her up and rock her back and forth
She not knowing how much their love was worth.
He watched her take her first steps and listened as she said her first word,
and felt his heart stir even when she jabbered and blurred.

It was sad that their relationship lasted only for 3 years,
after a terrible fate that left her family in tears.
He flew away with the angels,
when Heaven was busy,
All the commotions left the entire family dizzy.
She doesn't remember much after that.
Only that result truly caused an aftermath.

She decided it was time to leave from this truly eventful place,
and leave far away where she didn't have to be remembered of her loving father's face.

To her grandparent's she did move.
In to a trailer which she did love.
She had all sorts of animals,
really exotic pets,
In the house none of them were let.

There was arguing, and bickering, and constant carrying on,
At times love was hard to be found.

She was taught many things though,
not enough at times she suppose.
She learned about dream catchers and the Indian ways.
She learned to speak her mind, and say what she wants to say.

She was taught how to fish,
and to hunt with the boys,
When that was done she ran back in to her room and played with her toys.

But alas,
Four years senior after her father's death,
a crash happened and left her Uncle dead.
It was strange actually quite bizarre.
She didn't cry, or not shed one tear.
Even when crying was that entire she could hear.

Day after day,
night after night,
Being without her uncle was something she had to try to fight.

Years went on,
and then there was a tight bond between her and grandfather.
A bond so strong,
and seemed to be a mile long.
He taught her how to laugh and be fun, wild spirited and free.
He also taught her to see herself,
in the me.

When she was thirteen,
her grandfather went to the hospital,
it seemed to be serious,
She felt so scared and furious

She went to her bedroom and curled upon the floor.
Looked up at the ceiling and started to cry, "No more! No more!"

An hour later her mom and grandma walked through the door,
Their eyes were red,
and they both looked sore.

Sweetie I have something to tell you.
Grandpa is Heaven but his last words was that he loved you.

With tears in her eyes, she began to cry.
How could her grandfather leave her,
why did he have to die?

Now she is sad, and mad,
she can't eat or sleep.
No one was there to help her through her problems,
and her heart was broken and felt deep.

She had no friends to comfort her,
Nobody but her family,
Why did it matter anyway, she already has felt her heart tear.

Nothing can hurt more than I just have felt
as she cried in to her pillow,
and thinking of how her grandfather smelt.

Peppermint and tobacco,
New aftershave,
Listening to the crumpling of the comic paper,
Couldn't he have stayed?

Nightly watching wrestling,
as sitting on his lap.
Bundled up close,
as she gently laid to nap.

It took a year after,
when her and her family moved.
To a place she hated, where miles for round the only thing you couldn't here is laughter.

She made it through the nightmares,
the lonely holiday nights,
she made it through the rejection of friends,
and all of the fights.

"I'll make it through." she whispered as she laid upon her bed.
Gentle thoughts were finally filling her head.

Three years passed and things were going fine.
Until the phone rang and she thought she was going to lose her mind.

On the phone was her auntie, and she called to inform the family.
That the man she considered as her stepfather has passed.

"What do you mean, three days ago was when we saw him last?" as she thought.
Although she was lost in a state of shock.
Her mom was crying,
Her stomach in knots was tightly tying.

She couldn’t believe what she just heard,
It was too far-fetched,
It can be true,
Wrong she must have heard.

She went to school the next day,
Her heart and her mind felt very, far away.

She saw her friend and immediately began to cry.
How could this have happened?
Why did he have to die?

She had to go through all the heartbreak, no man in her life once again.
But how was her sister.
She hopes her life isn't crashing to an end.

Her sister was her shoulder to cry on,
and she was her sisters rock.
Her shoulders felt heavy,
like set on her was a ton.

She was able to get over this event, another tragedy,
which has set.
there has been nobody that she knows that has seen this much death.

She learned through her mistakes,
how to love and to live,
She learned not to take, but to give,

She grew up, beautiful, proud and strong,
dancing her dance, and singing her own song.

She is happy with life,
and takes it with pride,
But no matter how old she is,
she is still a little girl inside.

Whisper in the wind

I heard a whisper last night on the wind.

It's said don't cry that you'll be alright.

When I whispered back, How do you know?"

The whisper said I was once there too.

I was once there, young cold and in the dark.

Hiding in my closet hoping the doors don't part.

Hoping he forgot about me,

That he made a new friend,

And his new friend wasn't the back of my head.

He hit everywhere else,

He didn't hit there.

But there is always a first in this world.

Always a first.

So what did you do I whispered to the wind.

I stayed silent for so long.

I never said a word.

I kept letting what was going on go on.

Finally he came in one night,

Snuck in one night.

I was beaten, battered, blue.

My lung collapsed completely around two.

~in the morning.

No ambulance came for me,

Never left my bed.

Just a shallow grave is where I lay my head.

No one noticed I'm gone.

He up and moved.

away... far, far, away.

So be a brave boy,

Hide here tonight.

Then tomorrow at school,

You know what to do.

You'll know what to do.

Hide and don't ever let him find you.

Okay I whispered to the wind.

Thank you. Just thank you.

Its time!



~Celebrate~
Hearts are opened and are all full of cheer,
People are nicer, generous and more sincere,
It’s also a time for giving,
a time to show love,
A time for giving presents, and many, many hugs.
A time to hang mistletoe,
and sneak your loved one a kiss,
a time to think about ones that are truly missed.
It's time to unwrap presents gaily,
with a look of surprise,
when opened and see what Santa had inside.
It’s a time for stories,
and warm Christmas fires,
cups of hot cocoas,
Full of gooey marshmallows.
It’s time for Jack Frost to nip at you nose,
and get all bundled up in warm winter clothes.
Sweaters and gloves.
Mittens and boots
don’t look now but his chimney is all full of soot.
It’s time for bells to be ringing,
Ching a ling a ling,
its time for angel's to get their wings.
So they can come back from heaven and wish world peace.
If even for one night at least.
So Merry Christmas Everyone,
Young and old,
big and small.
Short or tall.
It’s time to celebrate
Signs

Don’t Cry, Don’t Weep

Don't cry over me, don’t weep over my passing.

Laugh at our memories, Celebrate my life.

Don't be sad, for I'm not sad. Don’t be in pain, for I'm not in pain.

I'm living like I never lived before.

Dry your eyes,

Put back together your heart.

Don't cry over me, don’t weep over my passing.

For I'm not hurting no more.

Alcohol and Cigarettes

Her perfume lingered,

Covered the scents,

Of alcohol and cigarettes.

Whispered sweetly across his lips,

Flashbacks rose of their time together,

Killed his aching heart more as time apart.

He slipped back more into his alcohol and cigarettes.

This time he knew there was no chance,

He wouldn’t get her back,

No matter how hard he tried,

She slipped further than she ever slipped before.

He tried to stop her,

Not to take that one last hit,

He lost.

Leaned back in his chair,

He lit another cigarette.

Laughed when he thought back when she said those things will kill you one day.

I’d rather die by one of these than what you do he laughed.

He wouldn’t have if he knew it was.

The smell of alcohol and cigarettes danced through each room,

Painted each crevices,

Hid in each nook and cranny.

Flourished with each passing day.

Hiding the distinguished scent that was arising.

Been months since bathed,

Mold forming on mold,

Waste piled upon waste.

He died,

Inside,

For his one true love already did.

Hermitized now,

People can’t stand the smell,

He can’t stand it either,

But rather live with the hell he placed upon himself,

Than deal with another human being.

So he stays there,

Alone,

In his rickety old house,

Smelling of alcohol and cigarettes

Bottle

Fighting back tears from an uncourageous place.

Demons vanquish the hatred,

Smother the collasle,

Raise the lies,

Enleash the hellpathed fury.

Where are you in this given state?

Lost in thine own drunken despair,

Battling with thy own inner demons.

In a steadfast dark sleep now.

Cumbered in silence,

Lacquered in liquid.

Twisted in the labyrinth of a bottle,

Resting in a chamber made of solid wood and steel.

Sleep,

rest.

Now.

For all has come to an end,

For you are now home.

Where ever that may be,

Not crying over your grave

I hold back tears as I try not to cry over you,

Watched you slip back into the world you called your own,

In a world that you clung to for what seemed to be an eternity.

A slow suicide,

A coward’s death to numb the pain residing.

Selfish.

As if you were the only one who was hurting,

As if you were the only one who was feeling pain,

Now sleep.

Rest in pieces as they fall.

For I will stay here,

Stand here,

And not let my tears fall,

Over your shallow,

Dug,

Open,

Grave.

Tell me

Your hand is rough,

Not soft like mine.

Can you feel the difference?

Can you feel the smoothness as I caress your face?

Tell me,

Can you feel my touch?

Your voice is deep,

Scolding tone.

My voice is gentle,

Caring.

Seductive.

Can you hear it when I whisper it in your ear?

Tell me,

Can you hear my voice?

Your body is rigid, muscular, and hard!

Not firm and smooth like mine.

Can you feel the difference?

Can you feel the firmness as I press it up against your body?

Tell me,

Can you feel my firmness?

Can you seduce me in ways I never been seduced?

With romance,

Passion,

A fiery yearns.

Tell me,

Can you seduce me?

Tell me all of your truth and you lies,

As I will tell you mine.

Tell me you love me and I will be your last,

As I will tell you that you are my one and only.

Tell me you love me,

And we’ll flirt every day,

Tell me these feelings for you will never go away.

Just tell me,

Please tell me.

Tell me,

Our love,

Will always be this way...

Just tell me.

But you’re A Survivor

"You have to express your feelings. You have to get your word out! You should show to the world that YOU are a SURVIVOR!"

I survived the pits of hell,

Or so that's how it feels.

Left lying on the bathroom floor.

In a room that felt so cold.

Roommate’s right outside,

Yet they didn't know.

Lost in a translucent of first week college crush.

He grabbed me,

Forced me,

I can still remember his scent.

His hands at my throat,

His hands...

At my throat.

Him throbbing from pure enjoyment,

He received pleasure,

I received pain.

Tried to turn to get help.

No one believed me,

To him I was all the same.

Another girl trying to ruin the school's chance,

Of taking someone valuable off the team.

Oh please.

Cried myself to sleep that night,

The next was the worst,

When I was confronted by a group of his 4,

~girls.

Hollered at me,

Called me names,

Parts of me broke apart that night,

I doubt I will ever be the same.

Drove home in the pouring rain,

Only brights to see,

I had to run away from there,

I had to flee.

4 hours for a 1 hour drive,

I thought I would never make it home alive.

I finally got there safe and sound,

I cried the worst when my feet stepped on the ground.

I knew I was ok then,

No harm could be undone,

But I was home,

And my journey to healing has just now begun.

What more could a person ask for?

I was not born to be famous, to be successful, and to know always what I want. I was born to be here though. For some reason,

Beyond my surmise I was born.

I was born to live a live a simple life, of nothing but paper and a pen, the love of my life and our little home.

For our weekends fishing, camping under the stars, that is all and nothing more.

It's a shock to oneself when your life doesn't always turn out the way you had hoped, that’s fine, its fine. I’m fine.

I have my dreams, my aspirations,

My love, my hope,

My faith.

I have church on Sundays,

Writing every day,

The sound of my beating heart stating that I am still alive.

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